Bloomberg, Bloomberg, He’s the One!!!

Many of us have attended the Bloomberg party, after begging to get invited or sneaking in past all the security guards.

Every spring after the country-come-to-town White House Correspondents’ dinner, Michael Bloomberg’s after-party is where the fortunate A- and B-listers and the resourceful hangers-on ogle the Hollywood stars and athletes who bring a bit of luster to this gray capital. It is THE happenin’ place to see and be seen seeing.

It’s no wonder that Mike Bloomberg is on everybody’s vice president list.

Oh sure, there’s that New York mayor thing and the fact that he has more net worth than the national treasury, but whatever the reason, when it comes to running mate possibilities, either party is the Bloomberg Party.

So here’s my idea: Since he gets along well with both John McCain and Barack Obama, why not allow each of them to select Michael Bloomberg as his running mate. And do it now. Get it over with.

It makes such obvious sense. First of all, it would really simplify things. No more talk about Hillary Clinton or Mitt Romney as the mismatches to be foisted on their former bitter rivals.

It would also be less of a hassle for reporters. We wouldn’t have to deal with all the intrigue and false leads leading up to each candidate’s selection, and we wouldn’t have to conjure up all the reasons each was a good/bad choice.

The voters would have it better, too. They wouldn’t have to be browbeaten by us commentators trying to convince them this mattered more than a bucket of warm spit, or whatever was in the bucket.

Both Obama and McCain could put out a joint statement. Together they were choosing a man who is liked by just about everybody outside Albany.

There are other advantages. As the owner of a media colossus, Bloomberg has TV smarts. So he could be the moderator of all debates between the Democratic and Republican presidential contenders.

I’ve saved the most important advantage for last: Vice President Bloomberg could take over the White House social functions. Just imagine if the stuffy state dinners were replaced by Bloomberg parties. The world would beat a path to our national doors. What a way to repair the country’s tattered international relations.

Not only that, but the first lady, whichever one, could be freed up to work on other matters … like say, healthcare. Oh, I’m sorry, I got carried away. THAT’S really farfetched.

Still, there are really compelling arguments for selecting Mike Bloomberg by acclamation and getting on to the stuff that really matters. After all, when have we ever had a vice president who influenced policy?