The Real Candidates

It has often been said that the best ideas, the most creative, are the obvious ones. I alone have said it many times. This is one of those:

Why do we we send the candidates out to make their speeches and do their interviews? Why not simply let their pollsters do the talking? Why don’t we simply eliminate the middleman, or middlewoman?

Think about how much more efficient this would be. Instead of making Hillary Clinton recite the market-tested lines Mark Penn has written, why not have Penn deliver them?

Look how well it’s worked for Larry David. The “Seinfeld” cast used to channel his comic ideas. Now he saves huge amounts of money by doing his own acting. It should play just as well with the comedy of politics.

Why should it be Barack Obama who fills us in on the latest decision to attack Hillary, when his tactical advisers could just as easily tell us? They would be much better equipped to handle things if none of the cliches he’s memorized really address any surprise question he gets.

Mitt Romney could hold contests. The person who comes up with his change in position each day is the winner and gets to announce it. That frees up Romney for more varmint-shooting.

Rudy Giuliani and John McCain could use their time to better understand the religious conservative values they’re newly embracing.

This could be a huge help to many of the candidates who are trailing. Joe Biden in particular would be much better off if his strategist did the talking, someone who didn’t get in trouble every time he opened his mouth.

Surely you see that this is a brilliant. I’m certain, though, you find it a bit unsettling. Breaking the mold always is. But from a practical standpoint it makes obvious sense.

And who knows, the time may come when we can eliminate the candidates altogether. We’re almost there now.