The Oval Office cabal

They’ll be very visible careening to and fro, and taking
advantage, behind the scenes, of their unique connections to their old
heads-of-state buddies as well as their big-money groupies.

It probably would take something like an earthquake to get
these two guys together. Other than being former leaders of the free world,
they don’t really have a lot in common. That, and the fact they’re both
sometime-ardent political enemies of Obama.

But he should give them plenty to gossip about when they
fill the awkward gaps in conversation while they are forced together in various
green rooms and private jets.

“It was bound to happen.” Bush begins the small
talk. “Barrack started out as King of the World, just a year ago. It
seemed like everybody was united, celebrating his historic accomplishment.”

“Well, George,” says Clinton, “I recall that
you didn’t have that experience. At least half the country felt you had stolen
the election in Florida. I personally didn’t care, because I thought that Al
Gore was a wooden twit. But as I glumly stood on your inauguration stand, I
sure didn’t look out on a sea of proud Americans the way Barack Obama did.”

“You’re missing my point, Bill.” Bush is slightly
annoyed. “What we all had in common on Day One was a belief that we had
all the answers. I was genuinely convinced that my experience as governor in
Texas prepared me for the world stage. You must have too, as governor of — what
was that state?”

“Lemme think.” It always takes Clinton a moment. “Oh,
yeah: Arkansas.”

“Whatever.” Bush picks up his thought. “It didn’t
take long, I think you’ll agree, to discover that we not only didn’t have all
the answers, we had no earthly idea how many questions there were, nor how many
thought they had the only good way to solve each issue, to say nothing of how
upset they would get when we wouldn’t drop everything and immediately deal with
them.”

“You got that right, George. It’s easy to understand
how the approval ratings of Obama the Rock Star have dropped like a boulder. He
hasn’t learned the bitter lesson: When you try and please everybody, you please
nobody.”

“Besides, Bill, living in that White House bubble wears
you down after a while. The public knows about everything that goes on in that
building.”

That brings a really quick response from Clinton: “EVERYTHING!”

That one flies right over Bush’s head. He’s off on another
tangent: “The palace intrigue was impossible for me to manage. Not only
did I have to watch out for Karl Rove, but Dick Cheney was lurking. At least
Gore accepted his role as vice president. And in Barack’s case, his guy Biden
just talks up a blue streak. Cheney was dangerous. He thought he was emperor.
Be glad you didn’t have anyone like that.”

“Of course I did. I had Hillary.”

“Oh yeah, what’s she doing these days?”

Clinton wouldn’t even bother with that one. “Speaking
of Hillary, you know, George, she and I honeymooned in Haiti and I have a long
attachment to the country. That knowledge will give me experience you don’t
have to deal with this catastrophe.”

“Are you kidding, Bill? Are you forgetting about
Katrina?”

Visit Mr. Franken’s website at www.bobfranken.tv.