What were they thinking

Last week, former Alaska Sen. Mike Gravel caused a stir at the first Democratic presidential debate by getting in other contenders’ faces and asking them probing questions. At one point, Gravel snapped at Sen. Barack Obama (Ill.) over security and Iran, asking angrily, “Who the hell are we going to nuke? Tell me, Barack, who do you want to nuke?” So what were the other candidates thinking about Gravel?

Republican press secretary: “They were thinking, ‘Pssst … We appreciate your years of service, but the AARP debate is in Ballroom II next door.’”

Michael Goldman, political science professor, Tufts University: “They all thought one of two things: Either, ‘And you guys thought Al Sharpton was a joke in 2004,’ or, of the old country-and-western song, ‘Mama, don’t let your kids grow up to be candidates.’”

Democratic political campaign operative: “Each candidate thought to themselves: ‘I need to keep this guy around. He makes me sound logical and sane.’”

Jonathan Grella, vice president of public affairs, Edelman Public Relations; former press secretary to Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas): “They were thinking, ‘I’m really happy for Kucinich, since he finally got to experience rolling his eyes at someone else,’ though Clinton must be kicking herself for not unleashing this show-stopping zinger: ‘I’ve seen curmudgeons in debates before, Governor, but you’re no Admiral Stockdale.’”

Jeff Gannon, political commentator, author and former White House correspondent: “We now have conclusive proof of global warming. That relic was buried under a glacier 25 years ago!”
Michael Gilman and Pirooz Sarshar, owners of the Grooming Lounge, a Washington spa for men: “Gee … I wish I had the stones to say what I really think. I sure hope he doesn’t start yelling and pointing at me. Wait a minute, do I smell my VP candidate?”

Jessica Cutler, a.k.a. Washingtonienne, former aide to former Sen. Mike DeWine (R-Ohio): “Don’t have my laptop with me. Can’t Google. Never heard of him.”

C. Stewart Verdery, lobbyist, Monument Policy Group: “The real candidates are grateful for every minute that Sen. Gravel is talking: Each minute is one less minute for them to accidentally have an Imus or ‘I-voted-for-it-before-I-voted-against-it’ moment.”

Former Rep. Jack Quinn (R-N.Y.), president, Cassidy & Associates: “They were probably thinking, ‘Who is this guy and what’s he doing on stage with the rest of us?’”

Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, former contestant on “The Apprentice” and former aide to Vice President Al Gore: “I am sure the candidates thought that it was a prank. I could imaging Hillary leaning over to Barack and asking, ‘Are we being punk’d?’”
 
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