Clinton consultant afraid of flying

Howard Wolfson, a consultant to presidential hopeful Clinton, is afraid to fly. Last weekend he drove 10–12 hours to the YearlyKos Convention held in Chicago.

One well-placed source verified Wolfson’s fear: “He is deathly afraid of flying. His car has logged miles to New Hampshire, Iowa and if he was in Chicago, he drove. He’s like B.A. Baracus from “The A-Team”: afraid to fly, but I pity the fool who messes with Howard.”

Rep. Julia Carson consults the stars

Rep. Julia Carson (D-Ind.) relies on astrology to make important office decisions such as hiring choices — and often she is spot-on, says the congresswoman’s scheduler.

Carson follows in the footsteps of former first lady Nancy Reagan, who was famous for having an astrologer, and Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.), who as first lady claimed to have channeled Eleanor Roosevelt.

Aarti Nayak, Carson’s scheduler, says her boss’s use of astrology keeps things in the office sort of mystical. Although she’s not burning incense just yet, Carson is a strong believer. In job interviews, she reportedly always asks for birthdays so she can check up on the astrological sign of the potential hire.

“She’s usually dead-on,” said Nayak.

No word on which signs might take you out of the running.

Kilgore advocates death penalty for gays, flogging for adulterers, exhibitionists

Some people have funny ways of running for Congress, and Larry Kilgore, who claims to be challenging Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) in a primary, is among them.

Kilgore advocates the death penalty for homosexuals and believes Texas ought to secede from the union. So far he has not filed a statement of candidacy with the Federal Election Commission. But he does have a website.

Watch out when perusing the site — among other things, it features a picture of Jewish women being executed in the Holocaust. Kilgore also believes in public flogging for transvestites, exhibitionists, adulterers and people who dress suggestively.

Doubters take note. Kilgore took 8 percent in the GOP primary against Gov. Rick Perry last year. We’ll see how he fares when Cornyn comes up for reelection in 2008.

To view the gory details or purchase campaign gear, visit www.larrykilgore.com .

Cornyn’s press office had no comment on Kilgore’s candidacy.

Is it Jean Schmidt, or her twin?

If you saw Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio) jetting around the Hill recently, it might not have been the Jean Schmidt we all know and love. You might have seen Jennifer Black, her twin sister and striking look-alike.

“They’re very similar, even though they’re fraternal twins,” said spokesman Ben LaRocco. “They do get confused.”

Black sported a Schmidt-esque hairdo: a pulled-back twist. Even the lipstick color was similar, although Black is lighter on the eyeliner. No sinister plans for switching places, it seems — Black’s just here to visit. She and Schmidt are “good friends,” said LaRocco, so she comes to the Hill relatively often. Schmidt’s staff loves it when the twin shows up, because she brings them brownies.

“Joking around, we always wonder what would happen if we dressed [Black] up and sent her down to the floor with a vote card,” said LaRocco.

Seriously, what would happen?

According to the parliamentarian’s office, non-members (even family) are allowed on the floor only at limited times when the House is in session. If Schmidt’s staff did send Jennifer Black to the floor with a vote card, and someone noticed it wasn’t her sister Jean, she’d be removed by the sergeant at arms. Proxy voting is forbidden, especially to members’ twin sisters.

Minnesota candidate plans to change name to Wellstone

James McBroom is not a long-lost relative of the late Sen. Paul Wellstone (D-Minn.), but voters might get confused come November 2008 when they are asked to choose between McBroom, an Independence Party candidate who promises to change his surname to that of the late senator, and GOP Minnesota Sen. Norm Coleman.

A visit to the McBroom website (www.broom4senate.com) is quite a trip. In addition to the circus-like theme song to HBO comedy “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” the site features a YouTube link to the real Paul Wellstone’s Iraq speech as well as another more thoughtful picture of the late senator with the inscription “RIP” underneath.

Perhaps McBroom realizes how loopy his name-changing campaign tactic is. When you click on his bio, the song “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley plays as you read about him.

In addition to promising to waive co-payments no matter what health insurance plan a person has, he also believes there was something fishy about the plane crash that killed the senator and his wife.

He also has a message for his challenger:

“Sen. Norm Coleman: You presently have something that still belongs to the late Sen. Paul Wellstone. I will be reclaiming it in 2008.” (We assume he means Wellstone’s seat.)

Under his “Issues” category, McBroom discusses a “vacation” he will take this year to Iran. He will enjoy the tourism there, he says, but should he run into a government official “it wouldn’t surprise me, if after they met me, that Americans will never pay more than $2 a gallon for gas.”

Bon voyage, McBroom. Or is it Wellstone?

Rep. Bartlett diagnosed with ear infection

Rep. Roscoe Bartlett (R-Md.) was overheard discussing his “infection” with another lawmaker last week. It turns out Bartlett has an ear infection and has been prescribed antibiotics to clear it up. “It’s completely and totally not a big deal,” said spokeswoman Lisa Lyons Wright.

Wright said Bartlett was in a lot of pain before he began taking medicine. “It was a very painful ear infection,” she said. “He’s like an iron man. He never complains. He said it was bothering him, so it must have really been hurting him.”   

Announcements

Wife of lobbyist dies of breast cancer

We offer our deepest condolences to Erik Gustafson on the loss of his wife, Jennifer Gustafson. She is survived by her husband and their children.

Jennifer Gustafson died after battling breast cancer. Her life was celebrated Friday and Saturday last weekend on Capitol Hill. Services were held at St. Peter’s Church, followed by a reception at the Capitol Hill Club.

In lieu of flowers, the family is requesting that friends and loved ones contribute to The Jennifer Gustafson Memorial Fund c/o Kent Lassman at FreedomWorks, 601 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W. North Building, Suite 700, Washington, D.C. 20004-2601.