Bath time with Rep. Massa

ITK receives a lot of press releases, but this one got our attention: “Congressman Eric Massa (D-N.Y.) to hold Town Hall Meeting in Bath on Saturday, May 23rd.”

Come one, come all — it’s open to the public and the press. But no need to bring rubber duckies and towels. That’s a big-B in “Bath,” as in Bath, N.Y.

{mosads}I won’t use this word….

Rep. John Carter (R-Texas) is sneaky. In a floor speech about the CIA-Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) controversy, he said he wasn’t going to use a four-letter word mere seconds after he uttered it.

“I don’t like the word ‘liar,’ and I’m not going to use it,” Carter said. “But either Ms. Pelosi is not telling the truth or the CIA is not telling the truth, and this issue must be resolved.”

Payne: One more strike and I’m out

Rep. Donald Payne (D-N.J.) this week suggested to ITK that he has been arrested twice and he’s in danger of being caught in the three-times-and-you’re-in-prison-forever rule.

Three strikes and you’re out, Payne said. “I go to jail for life if I get arrested again.”

Well, not exactly. First off, ITK knows that Payne was arrested in 2001 when he protested against the actions of the Sudanese government at its embassy in the nation’s capital. The details of a second arrest have proven to be elusive.

But unless Payne goes on a manslaughter rampage, an orange jumpsuit is not in his future because his crime(s) are minor. A Payne aide confirmed the lawmaker was talking in jest.

Bond seeks to save the whales, then spotted at bar

Pierce Brosnan, who played James Bond in four films, was in the Capitol Visitor Center (CVC) Tuesday night for an event highlighting the plight of whales.

Like Bond, Brosnan enjoys a good drink and was also spotted at the Off the Record bar in the Hay-Adams Hotel on Monday and Tuesday nights. No word on what he was drinking, but ITK bets that more than one bartender has asked him, “Shaken, not stirred?”

Tuesday’s whaling event featured a star-studded lineup of TV and film stars, including MSNBC’s Chris Matthews and Goran Visnjic of “ER” fame.

The stars were focused on raising awareness of legislation introduced this week by Del. Eni Faleomavaega (D-America Samoa) to close loopholes in international whaling laws that have allowed Iceland, Norway and Japan to continue commercial whaling under the guise of conducting research.

Matthews played master of ceremonies, displaying his rapid-fire wit and Irish charm.

Brosnan, who contributed to Sens. John Kerry (D-Mass.) and Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) in 2004, was asked, “How would James Bond save the whales?”

Like a veteran politician, Brosnan dodged the query, responding, “Ask Daniel Craig.”

Craig is the actor who currently plays James Bond.

Sestak in demand

Rep. Joe Sestak (D-Pa.) may be a rank-and-file member, but he has been very popular with TV bookers since Sen. Arlen Specter (D-Pa.) changed parties late last month.

Over the last three weeks, Sestak has been on MSNBC, CNN and Fox a dozen times, according to a review of TV transcripts. Sestak is considering challenging Specter in the 2010 Democratic primary.

Conyers: I’m not 80!

House Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers Jr. (D-Mich.), the second-longest-serving incumbent in the lower chamber, turned 80 on Saturday.

He wouldn’t reveal how he celebrated the monumental birthday, but he did divulge his three secrets to a long life.

“Live a clean life, get your rest, and lie about your age,” he told ITK.

Rep. Paul Ryan’s uncle is Mike Barnicle’s doctor

It is indeed a small world, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) and MSNBC’s Mike Barnicle found out on Wednesday.

Ryan was appearing on “Morning Joe” to plug Republicans’ healthcare reform package when Barnicle decided to grill him on the details of the legislation. Soon enough, the conversation revealed that Ryan’s uncle is Barnicle’s cardiologist. Here is a breakdown of the conversation:

Barnicle: Let’s pretend that your bill is enacted, passed and signed into law, and it’s a year from now. And I’m going for a stress test at the Massachusetts General Hospital.

So do I get to choose my own doctor? Tell me how much it’s going to cost for this stress test in terms of a percentage basis, compared to now. And how much is it going to take out of my wallet to pay for your healthcare plan?

Ryan: Well, if you go to Mass General, I hope you pick my uncle, because he’s a cardiologist there at Mass General.

Barnicle: Who is he?

Ryan: Adolph Hutter. So I hope you pick him.

Barnicle: He’s mine!

Ryan: Oh, he is?

Barnicle: Yeah!

Ryan: Wow, what a small world.

Like a good uncle, Hutter ponied up $500 to Ryan’s campaign last cycle.