It’s Wednesday. A sitting senator told a witness to “stand his butt up” and fight in the middle of a hearing yesterday, if you’re wondering how absolutely swell things are going. ? Here’s what’s happening today: 

• The good news is that Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) likely averted a shutdown — with no threat for a shutdown around Christmas(?!) The bad news is that Capitol Hill basically devolved into a fight club Tuesday.  

• President Biden is meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping today in California, but the expectations for the meeting are pretty low.  

• A Bloomberg reporter posted a photo of Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen ordering from In-N-Out Burger before her meeting with Xi. Keep reading to see what she ordered. 

• Leaked audio from former President Trump’s Georgia co-defendants shows how he desperately clung to power after losing the 2020 presidential election. 

I’m Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what’s coming up. Send tips, commentary, feedback and cookie recipes to cmartel@thehill.com. Did someone forward this newsletter to you? Sign up here.  

This ‘Mean Girls’ clip applies too well. 

It took the House *checks calendar* 10 consecutive weeks in session for everyone to officially lose it. But the good news is that the House just canceled its votes for the week and are officially gone through Thanksgiving(!) I think we can all agree that’s for the best… 

First, an alleged kidney shot: Rep. Tim Burchett (R-Tenn.) accused former Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) of elbowing him in the kidneys during an interview with an NPR reporter. (Burchett was one of the eight Republicans to vote to oust McCarthy last month.) Watch Burchett’s accusation 

McCarthy denies intentionally brushing into Burchett. “If I would hit somebody, they would know I hit them,” he told reporters. Oh mannnn. 

Then, a fistfight nearly broke out: Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-Okla.) challenged the president of the Teamsters to a literal fight during a Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee hearing. Mullin is a former MMA fighter, I might add. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), the committee chair, then jumped in to diffuse the escalation.  
 

^ Larry David, start practicing your angry-senator-dad impression for this weekend. 

Another little tidbit to the story: When Mullin was asked by The Hill whether he had seen the incident between McCarthy and Burchett, Mullin said he kicked Burchett out of his long-standing workout group last week due to a “lack of character on his part.” This is notable because Mullin said his workout group has often included rival lawmakers during contentious times. Read Al Weaver’s report on Mullin kicking Burchett out of his workout group 

And that’s not all: During a heated exchange, House Oversight and Accountability Committee Chair James Comer (R-Ky.) told Rep. Jared Moskowitz (D-Fla.) that he looks “like a Smurf,” appearing to reference his blue shirt and tie. Watch the clip 

You can’t make this stuff up. 

The NPR reporter described the incident: “[U]ntil he was shoved, he lunged towards me, in that moment,” NPR’s Claudia Grisales told CNN’s Anderson Cooper. “I thought, maybe initially it was a joke, and I looked up, I saw it was McCarthy surrounded by his detail. I could tell by Burchett’s response soon after, it was not a joke, at all.” 

This detail has me ?: CNN’s Melanie Zanona pointed out that “Mullin — a former MMA fighter — even reaches for his wedding band at one point. That’s like the male equivalent of taking your hoop earrings off before a fight.” Watch around the 45-second mark 

 
Solid suggestion: The New Republic’s Grace Segers wondered whether “anyone tried unplugging Congress and plugging it back in today.”  

Uncle Bernie did not have a sense of humor about this: Sanders called the encounter “pathetic.” 

Omg, Bernie’s hand: Look at Sanders’s hand popping into the shot. Photos from Politico’s Ursula Perano 

We are very proud of these kids: The Boston Globe’s Jackie Kucinich posted that she “chaperoned a first grade field trip this morning and despite having school every week since Labor Day, there was no name calling, fighting or clean shots to the kidneys.”  

Yes, THIS: Capitol Hill staffer Madeline Huffman posted a side-by-side comparison of Congress in August vs. now. The side-by-side photos are scarily accurate 

The House passed a two-tiered bill on Tuesday to fund part of the government through Jan. 19 and the rest through Feb. 2.  

You read that right: That would mean no threat of a government shutdown around Christmas. That’s basically unheard of on Capitol Hill.  

The vote: The measure passed in a 336-95 vote. Two Democrats and 93 Republicans opposed the bill, meaning Democrats bailed out Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.). 

Why this is significant: Former Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) passed a clean, no-frills funding bill in September and was booted from the job. Johnson just did the same thing, but hard-line Republicans are giving the new Speaker a free pass this time. How conservatives gave Johnson a ‘mulligan’ 

What now?: The bill heads to the Senate. Both Senate leaders, Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) and Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), support the plan, so it should go smoothly.  

Interesting op-ed: Former federal prosecutor Dennis Aftergut writes “How Speaker Johnson got it done.” Read 

President Biden is meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping in San Francisco today. Tensions are pretty high, though, so there are low expectations for this meeting. 

A few goals: They may agree to reopen direct military-to-military communications and crack down on containing fentanyl. 

A few tense topics: Taiwan — and China’s role in the conflicts in Ukraine and the Middle East 

A pre-planned win: The U.S. and China announced a climate agreement ahead of today’s meeting. The gist: An effort to replace fossil fuels with renewables. 

Five things to watch, via The Hill’s Alex Gangitano and Brett Samuels: 

Livestreams: Watch their greeting at 1:45 p.m. and their bilateral meeting at 2 p.m. 

Former President Trump’s legal team just requested a mistrial in his New York civil fraud case, accusing Judge Arthur Engoron of being biased.  (The Hill) 

Is this surprising?: Not at all. Trump’s attorney had been saying his team would file for a mistrial.

The ironic part: Judge Engoron, himself, will be ruling on this motion for a mistrial. 

ABC News obtained portions of the videotaped interviews that two former Trump attorneys gave to prosecutors in exchange for their plea deals in the Georgia election interference case. 

The line that’s getting traction: “The boss is not going to leave under any circumstances,” then-White House deputy chief of staff Dan Scavino told ex-Trump lawyer Jenna Ellis after Trump lost the 2020 presidential election, Ellis testified. 

Watch the ABC News video — it starts around the one-minute mark 

Why this matters: It shows how the former president desperately tried to hold onto power after losing the 2020 presidential election. The Hill’s Ella Lee has a helpful read on the significance of this leaked audio. 

? Celebrate: Today is National Bundt Day! And to quote one of the best movies of all time, “there’s a hole in this cake.”  

? I learned today that Janet Yellen has good taste in fast food: Bloomberg’s Viktoria Dendrinou posted a photo of Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen ordering In-N-Out Burger before meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping. 

^ @SamRo commented: “Imagined getting handed a 20 from a person whose signature is on all the money” 

So, what did she order?: A “cheeseburger with fries & onions,” according to Business Insider. 

? *Grabs belongings and sprints to this street*: Punchbowl News’s Mica Soellner posted photos of a Waffle House food truck in the Capitol Hill neighborhood for Rep. Austin Scott (R-Ga.) fundraiser. Photos 

??? I laughed out loud at this: NBC News’s Kyle Stewart posted a beautiful photo of the holiday wreaths at Union Station. But if you look closely, you can see three rats carrying their dinner.  

The House and Senate are in. President Biden and Vice President Harris are in northern California for the annual Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) summit.  (all times Eastern)

• 1:45 p.m.: Biden meets with Chinese President Xi Jinping. ? Livestream 

• 2 p.m.: A House hearing on antisemitism on college campuses. ? C-SPAN livestream 

• 2 p.m.: New Hampshire Secretary of State David Scanlan will announce the date of the first-in-the-nation presidential primary. Keep in mind: The Iowa caucuses are scheduled for Jan. 15. (WMUR) 

• 2:30 p.m.: The Senate votes. ?️ Today’s agenda 

• 5:45 p.m.: Last House votes of the day. ?️ Today’s agenda 

• 7:15 p.m.: Biden holds a press conference. ? Livestream 

• 10:30 p.m.: Biden and first lady Jill Biden host a welcome reception for APEC Leaders. Harris and second gentleman Doug Emhoff will also attend. ? Livestream 

And to leave you in a little less of a fight club mood, let’s follow along to see Cookie Dough the puppy’s day. 

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