Dictionary of scoundrels: Lexicon of the new political corruption

When President Donald Trump described the impeachment battle against him as a “lynching,” it generated an understandable outcry. Here was the president, using charged language in a context that defied its actual meaning.

Former Vice President Joe Biden quickly apologized for using that same term during the Clinton impeachment proceedings. But Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) rushed to defend Trump’s usage, calling impeachment “a lynching in every sense.” In every sense?

We are now in a political atmosphere so divided it often seems that the same words mean different things to different people. President Trump is especially adept at throwing words around in ways that fight against their accepted definition. “Corrupt,” “perfect,” and “fake” are called upon so often, in so many situations, that they essentially take on whole new meanings.

It’s time to codify those new translations — after all, the electorate needs to have a clearer understanding of what the president is trying to say. Following a review of the president’s tweets, rallies and media remarks, here are new definitions for some key terms in the Trump lexicon:

Nepotism: (n.) Actions whereby powerful officials use their influence to obtain high-level positions for their children. (See: Biden, Hunter. Do not see: Trump, Eric; Trump, Donald Jr., et.al.).

DOJ: (n.) New, simplified spelling of the word “dodge,” meaning to evade by cunning, trickery or deceit. (See: American Heritage Dictionary.).

Exoneration: (n.) Complete and total. (See: DOJ.).

Whistleblower: (n.) A person who makes a sound so high-pitched most Republicans cannot hear it.

Meltdown: (n.) Anger expressed by a woman in a stressful top-level congressional position, the responsibilities of which overwhelm her. It brings into focus her overall instability. (See also: Stable)

Stable: (adj.) Anger expressed by a man in an even more stressful, even higher-level government position, an action which is seen as understandable, given the justifiable grievances held by that man against his ever-growing number of enemies.

Genius: (n.) A person who makes remarks, takes actions and issues policies without the need to consult anyone else, confident that intuition, not information, is the key to achievement.

Corruption: (n.) A psychological disorder that compels one to view negatively anything that benefits — personally, financially or politically — a powerful person or members of his family, his long-time friends, and past, current and potentially future business associates.

Deep state: (n.) see Corruption.

Perfect: (adj.) An action that, once fully-revealed, creates and compels controversy to such an extent that political divisions increase and harden. Such actions can take the form of statements, letters or, most often, international phone calls.

Generals: (n.) People with tremendous military training and incredible combat experience who are, in the end, just not that smart. 

Allies: (definition still evolving)

Acting: (adj.) Refers to a temporary government employee often hired because of skillfulness in taking dictation. (E.g. chief of staff, Homeland Security Secretary, Director of National Intelligence. Subject to change without prior notice.)

Chief of Staff: (n.) A government position typically filled by temporary employees on a rotating basis of anywhere from 192 days to 18 months, or until a press conference is held that should not have been held. (See: Acting)

Quid Pro Quo: The president and members of his administration are not required to have a working knowledge of Latin.

As with many issues, the president may continue to shift, delete or add to these characterizations. New definitions for words such as “unconstitutional,” “emoluments,” “ambassador” and “foreign policy” are still under review.

Meanings are fluid.

Joe Ferullo is an award-winning media executive, producer and journalist and former executive vice president of programming for CBS Television Distribution. He was a news executive for NBC, a writer-producer for “Dateline NBC,” and worked for ABC News. Follow him on Twitter @ironworker1.